in the field...monsters

I was scared last night because there was a big scary monster in my house and it turned on the TV while I was in the other room and scared the crap out of me.

OK. It wasn't really a monster. Maybe it was just an electrical short? There wasn't anyone there... just the dogs and the fish and the turtles and the snail, but that's not what my imagination told me. I was scared.

Kyle wasn't home. He was in the field, fighting bad guys and such. So after checking to make sure the monster was nowhere to be found, I texted him that the stereo had just come on by itself. After watching an episode of Modern Family with the dogs (via Hulu), I had closed the laptop, turned the TV off and walked into another room. Ten minutes later, the next show in line was blasting through my house, or at least the sound for it. I don't know what happened, but then I couldn't sleep.

So Kyle called me and talked me out of being scared. But I still couldn't sleep. And then an ambulance, a fire truck a and police car pulled up across the street...not at my house. So I called Kyle and he told me I must be safe with all those emergency workers nearby, but I didn't believe him, so he told me a story about magical fairy tale creatures. That made me feel better and I finally fell asleep.

The moral of the story is, I don't like it when Kyle is in the field.

adoption blog

Please read our adoption blog at:

Crutchfield Adoption

"Adoption...yay!" :)

Home Study

Our adoption home study application has been mailed. Now someone will come at unscheduled times to study our home, to decide whether or not we're fit to be parents. I wonder what they will see when they look at our house?

Will they think we're irresponsible for leaving the holes the dogs dug in the backyard unfilled?

Will they think we're lazy if they see piles of clean laundry left unfolded for days on end?

Will they think we're bad parents because our puppy doesn't always obey us and our fish/turtle tank is not always crystal clear?

Will they think we're hoarders if they look in our storage closets?

It's kind of intimidating to have strangers studying our lives, but we have nothing to hide. "There is no condemnation in Christ," and that's what matters.

I just can't wait til the part when we can go get our child! Somewhere out there, our child is needing us, and we are needing him or her to come home soon and help us make a mess of this house. Cool people are messy, and our kid is cool.

bag o memories

You know how sometimes you have to clean up really quickly, so you stuff everything into bags and then throw it all into a closet and forget about it until it comes time to clean out the closet, so then you have to go through the bags, and it takes forever because you have to think about where to properly place every single item you pull out? That's what I've been doing lately... sorting through forgotten bags of memories.

Among the items found tonight were:

• congratulations cards from our wedding,
  
• birthday cards Kyle got on the birthday I missed because I was in Macedonia,
• birthday cards I got on my birthday that Kyle missed because he was in Iraq,
• brochures welcoming me to Army life,
  
• documents explaining military insurance,
• crayon art from my students, both here and in Macedonia,
• airline tickets and itineraries,
• get well cards from the time of my majorly inconvenient surgery,
• grad school documents,
• documents explaining post-deployment re-adjustments and how to care for my Soldier,
  
• documents for obtaining a new state teacher license,
• and all the sentimental photos, cards and letters I had posted in my bedroom in Skopje.

It's no wonder I haven't finished processing the last few years of my life... moving to Macedonia, marrying Kyle three days after seeing him for the first time in three years, plunging into the culture of military life, leaving my new husband to return to Macedonia alone, making it through a year of worrying about his safety during his deployment, traveling, traveling, traveling, returning to the states and almost immediately moving to a new city and a new job and a new house by myself, welcoming my husband home from war and then having major surgery. Whoa. At least after all that craziness, we got to go to Disney World, right?

What a crazy, beautiful few years these have been. So now tell me, how can I throw away all these little reminders of my adventures? Lord, have mercy.

Summer Dreams

The best thing about being able to sleep later during the summer is remembering more of my dreams. For two weeks, I've been working on projects with photos of all my travels over the years, so last night I visited China, Japan and Germany, all in the same dream! I got to see April, and then I got a surprise visit with my old friend Jen Dowda, who apparently was living in the German Alps. I can still see the mountains so vividly, and there was a field of wild horses there, too. In the dream, I cried and cried when I knew it was time to leave those mountains and those horses.

Another night, I dreamed I was hiking in Macedonia with my parents, my sister and my baby nephew. My mom got trapped in one of the cave-like restrooms because she didn't have the money to pay to pee, so I had to go rescue her, yelling at the attendant in Macedonian and English...cuz I know like, ten words in Macedonian, and if you ask me what they are, I'd have to think for a very long time before I could tell you.

I love to dream. Maybe that's why I so often walk around the house belting out, "I Dreamed a Dream," and Kyle teases me about the miserable life of which I sing. Silly. I have a very happy life. But I can be dramatic when I'm singing, can't I? Of course I can.

As in Bible stories, I think dreams can still convey very powerful messages. For example, a few weeks ago I dreamed that I met a group of elderly Christian heroes of mine, and they all told me I should be writing more often. Ever since, I've been more determined to start writing again, and here I am. So there.

Now Opus is sleeping on the floor beside me, dreaming of days when we won't make him wear the cone of shame. Petey is dreaming about finally catching a squirrel. Dream on.

Adventurers

Last week, we went to the beach for my cousin's wedding. A wedding on the sand with a backdrop of the ocean, the blue sky, the rolling clouds. Lovely. A perfect excuse for an extended family gathering at the beach, and it will always be memorable, especially since my grandmother caught the bouquet. Twice.

After the wedding, we stayed for another day of play. My brother, his wife and his fifteen month old twin boys, Sammy and Davey, stayed in the adjoining room of our hotel room. Sammy is quite the adventurer already, constantly trying to escape from his car seat, his stroller, the hotel room. I decided to adventure with him one day and followed him out the door. He led me all around the hotel balcony, up and down stairs and into every open nook and cranny. A true explorer. I imagine he will be climbing out of his bedroom window at the first opportunity. Davey is more shy and sensitive than Sammy, but he does love flying through the air in someone's arms. Maybe those two will discover a new world together one day.

On our way out of Florida, we stopped at a tourist shop and bought two tiny little turtle buddies. Kyle quickly named his Magellan, but I had to think on it for a few days until last night I settled on Tumnus, because though Mr. Tumnus was not an explorer like Ferdinand Magellan, he was very good and brave, and adventurous. Kyle spent time yesterday building a turtle habitat in our aquarium, where Magellan and Tumnus joined a big goldfish named Jack and four or five guppies, who were spared from being bait on a recent fishing trip. We showed the aquarium to Petey, and now he is obsessed with finding a way to stick his snout through the glass and eat Jack the goldfish.

While we were at the beach, Petey and Opus stayed with Nanna, Kyle's mom. Opus escaped from the fence and started wandering the neighborhood. Luckily, he's old and slower now, so Nanna was able to quickly catch up to him and bring him back. Petey enjoyed exploring under Nanna's storage shed, where there must surely be badgers and monsters to battle. When it was time to go home, and Opus saw us packing up the car, he escaped the fence again, this time bolting to the open car door and jumping into the driver's seat. He usually needs a boost to get in the car, but not that time. I suppose adventurers get an extra burst of energy when it's really important. He did NOT want us to leave him again.

Should I change the name of this blog? The outdated title has kept me from writing for a year. Suggestions?

sleeping on a car

Will Feral is not my cat, but he begs to differ. I don’t feed him, but he doesn’t mind. All he wants is a warm car to sleep on, a hedge to hide beneath, and conversation. I got in my car this evening to go out and buy the thing of the day (you know, my new idea for the thing that will complete my house, although nothing will as long as Kyle's not here?). Will Feral was sleeping on the car, and was not phased when I got in the car and turned on the engine. I slowly backed out of the driveway, and could see him in my rearview mirror, calmly enjoying the ride from the rear of the car. I pulled up to the first stop sign, and he was still there, riding without fear. I got out of the car and told him to shoo. He stood up looking offended, but didn’t get off the car. So he rode another few feet, standing like that on the car. I used the brakes to jerk the car a few times, and finally he jumped off. Is he crazy? This is not the first time he’s taken a ride on my car, but it’s the furthest he’s dared to stay there. And I'm not really even sure he's a he.

I’m not in Macedonia anymore, obviously. (So maybe I should find a new name for my blog?) There are no stray dogs to greet on my way to work, but then how would I know, when I’m driving and not walking? There is, however, a tame dog in my house, and I am very fond of him. He is a dachshund named Petey. He’s on loan from my in-laws. He is my protector and companion until Kyle gets home, and maybe even longer. He barks at every sound, which can be annoying, but mostly reassuring. He’s very cuddly, and he sings and dances. He even praises the Lord! What more could a girl ask for? Now I understand those people who gush about their dogs all the time. What else is there to gush about when you otherwise live alone? Pillows from Pier One? I have those, too, and they’re propped up on my red couch. But I'm not going to gush about pillows.