This has been one of the hardest, best years of my life. The guy who hired me for this job told me it would be the best, hardest job I'd ever had. I can't imagine that he had any idea how true that would be for me. I have been reminded again and again that nothing comes to me except that it first passes through the loving hands of my Heavenly Father. He has blessed me beyond measure.
And now I'm preparing to get married this summer. I am going to promise my whole life to Kyle, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish 'til death do us part. Wow. That's serious, forever stuff. I'm glad I can rest in Jesus, because I will be making a promise that I can't keep without the divine intervention of Christ. I love Kyle, and he loves me, but I know our human capacity for love can never be enough. We have to rely on God's love to hold us together. Please pray for us!
We are working on setting up some pre-marital counseling via Skype, and we are talking to a pastor near Kyle who can marry us in front of our families. I am almost obsessively registering online for household items, and my parents have offered to store them in their new house until Kyle and I are back from Iraq and Macedonia next year and can actually set up house. We're hoping to have our big wedding celebration in December 2010, because we really want all our friends and family to celebrate with us!
I have eleven more days with my students. Two weekends to prepare for my flight home. A few days in Alabama to settle in before I have to drive to Georgia to get ready for the wedding. The last minute work at school is daunting. My suitcases seem to be glaring at me every time I walk by. My wedding dress and ballet slippers are waiting for me in Alabama, but I don't know how I'm going to get flowers and everything. I take deep breaths about twenty times a day, and Mia thinks it's funny. I lay awake most nights with millions of whatifs running through my head. This is crazy, but wonderful!
I am trying to find the presence of mind to teach these last weeks, but I feel like most of our classroom activities are just timesucks to get through the day. I love those little children, and I will miss them. Many of them have been out for extended periods of time lately, traveling to France, Italy and Greece. It's a whole different world here, and I love it. I'm sad that I will have to spend my first year of marriage away from my husband, and super worried that he will be at war, but I am also so thankful to have another year here in Macedonia. I love my life here. I know it is going to change when I get married, but I will still be here, and I trust that God has a plan for me whether I'm married or single. I don't know how to be married! I have a lot to learn, always.
Please pray that the army would be kind to us and let us get married the weekend of June 26th, and that Kyle would have that weekend off, because he has to leave for California July 3rd or 4th, and we want as much time together as we can get. Getting the army to do what we want will take a miracle, so we truly do ask you to pray for this....and pray that we will remember to rest in Jesus. I hope you will rest in Him, too.
Jesus! I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For, by Thy transforming power,
Thou hast made me whole.
Jesus! I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Oh, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea:
Oh, how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.
Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart,
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings,
Thine is love indeed.
Ever lift Thy face upon me,
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory,
Sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
Fill me with Thy grace.
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For, by Thy transforming power,
Thou hast made me whole.
Jesus! I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Oh, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea:
Oh, how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.
Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart,
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings,
Thine is love indeed.
Ever lift Thy face upon me,
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory,
Sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
Fill me with Thy grace.
