Just breathe.

Allow me to process.

I woke up this morning in a panic...but nothing a little journaling, praying and scripture reading couldn't help. I needed to be still for awhile. I forget that. How could I? I'm like one of the Israelites wandering in the desert and irrationally doubting God's faithfulness. Why is seeking God normally the last thing I want to do when I am worried? I have much to learn.

Several things are making me panic.

• Because of insurance red tape, I will have to leave my car in Alabama instead of North Carolina...which is great and I'm thankful to that my family can keep it there for me. But I'm pouting anyway, mostly because that means I will not have a car to drive the week before I leave. I don't know how to live without a car in America...even for a week! America does not work unless everyone has a car. That's what April says. Maybe I will rent a car. It's expensive, yes, but in this country, expense is outweighed by convenience and comfort. So there you go.
  

• Because of the dates on which I will be traveling to Macedonia, the airline will not, under any circumstances, allow excess luggage on my flight. So I will be limited to two suitcases, fifty pounds each and a carry-on not to exceed eighteen pounds. OK. No big deal. That just means I have to limit what I bring. I have to be less American. I have to live with fewer clothes and fewer books. This is good. Living out of a suitcase isn't so bad. It can actually be refreshing, as I found when I studied abroad. But it still stresses me out! I'm so dependent on my plethora of shoes and clothes, my overflowing bookshelves, my collection of toiletries. Good grief.

• I still have a lot of stuff cluttering my life. I am storing most of it in Alabama and some of it here, thanks to my friend Kari. :) So that's great. I'm storing it. But WHY am I storing it? Do I really need to keep all that stuff? Again, good grief.

• Also, I am going to miss some people like crazy. I am starting to feel the losses already. Thankfully, that is something I can't even hope to control. I have no choice but to let God take care of my relationships while I'm gone. Of course, I'll do everything I can to keep in touch. But mostly I need to trust Jesus.

• And I am going to miss Redeemer Church like whoa. What in the world am I going to do? That's a silly question. I have to choose to trust Jesus to be everything I need and so much more...to provide for me. He knows the number of hairs on my head! WHAT am I worried about?
  

So...I'm driving down to Alabama in two days. I will spend some time with my family and my weenie dogs before returning to NC for a week before I leave for Macedonia. That will be great. I might even get to help my sister Colleen decorate her new apartment! Yay! :)

Please pray for me about all these things.

3 weeks to go

Blogging is against my religion.

Nevertheless, this is the beginning of my Macedonia blog.

I have never been to Macedonia. I don't speak Macedonian. I don't know much about what my life there will be like. I don't even know what I will eat!

But I know I will be teaching kindergarten, and that makes me happy. I am so excited to go! And yet, I am so sad to leave my family, my friends and my community. So please pray for me.

I still have a ridiculous amount of excessive STUFF to sort through. I need to figure out what to do with my car. I need to figure out how to keep in touch well while I'm away. I need to bravely say farewell to my loved ones...and I need to trust Jesus.

These past weeks have been such a happy time in my life, living with my best friends and my sister in this wonderful Guest House, and spending time with so many good friends. I love summer! I love my life! Please pray for that I would be willing to let it go for a time in order to find the life I'm called to live in this new season.

I am leaving in three weeks! Scary! This blog will help me keep you posted about my new life! Check it as often as you like and I will try to keep it interesting.